Before having Brandon, I did as I believe so many other mommy's do....I wondered if I could love another as much as I love my first. My love for Bailey ran so deep, that I was sure that it wasn't possible; that I would not have the ability to love my son as much as I loved my daughter. So, I did what any rational person would do...I asked every mother I knew (and a few that I didn't really know, but simply ran into) if it was possible, "can you really love your second, as much as you love your first?".
The answer was the same from every woman I spoke with, "yes, you can". Each of them told me that they too could not have imagined the ability of their heart to stretch to include that second (or with some of them their third or forth) miracle the way their heart loved that first one but, it does happen. Did I believe them? Absolutely not. I mean, what mother is going to say, "you know what? I really love my first child but my second...hmm....kinda". I figured that the deep dark secret, the true lie of motherhood, was that you really only love your first child with that all-consuming, self sacrificing, undeniable love and that the children after that you loved but, not with as much depth or passion.
Turns out...they didn't lie. You are able to love your second (or I'm sure your third or forth) with as much depth, as much passion, as much all-consuming love as your first. Somehow, God grants us the ability to love differently but equally. The awesome part of all this is...your first love is still there. I think that's where the fear initially comes from. I explained it to my girlfriend Glenna this way....before I was married, I loved other boys. But when I met my husband, I had to make a choice. I had to choose whom I was going to love. There wasn't the choice of, I'll love you as much as I love him. You choose (and yes, I am very happy with my choice :). So when God blessed us with a second child, I figured I'd have to choose whom I was going to love more. That's the awesome part...you don't have to. The awesome part is...turns out, they didn't lie.
